Transcendentalism.

Sharon Olds (via goldnotes)

For Niki (although others are welcome to read along)

I started this by writing that I don’t have any major life updates, then once I began I realised it’s possible this is one of the biggest years of my life to date:

 - Moved out of home - this was a HUGE step for me, something I finally got to do (living in the big city, oh my!) and something I think I probably over planned and under thought. I spent the first 3 months living by myself, which made me realise that while I like alone time, I don’t like alone time ALL the time. Then in a confusing convenient way I ended up with one of my best friends’ siblings living with me after it turned out she was staying with friends in the apartment above me while she looked for a place to live.

 - Finished my second year of uni - This shit just keeps getting harder! I probably should have realised that this was going to happen, but I didn’t, so instead I am left feeling that I wish someone had fixed my ignorance so I could’ve got some of the harder subjects out earlier on when I still had time. On the plus side, in 10 months time i will finally have my BA in Psychology, which makes me so, so happy to even think about and I cannot wait to experience it.

 - Running, running, running - I’ve always run recreationally, however this year I decided to make something of it and actually run some events! I began this (terrifying) experience with a mild 10km run (6.21 miles) which I didn’t train for, apart from a few ‘long walks’ and a 2km run the day before. Add this to a rather chesty flu, and it’s really not necessary to say that I didn’t do well. I tore a hip flexor, and of course insisted on finishing the damn race, which got me a lovely t-shirt I am both ashamed and proud of for my efforts. Since then I have done things the right way - training hard, both with running and also weights at the gym, and can honestly say I have changed my entire way of thinking when it comes to eating right and exercising. I completed a half marathon in October, and a 14km (8.7 miles) run “just for fun” a few weeks later, which made me ECSTATIC to be able to do even after I stopped training. My plans for this year involve 2-3 full marathons, and I’ve got to say, it’s such a nice feeling to have such a selfish goal to aim for. 

 - Dying my hair dark copper - I’ve never been anything other than a blonde, and while I’ve always felt right as a blonde, I’ve also always believed that you cannot be truly sure of who you are if you’ve never tried the things you’re not. 

It’s funny you say that people treat you differently - this was something I had never expected, and yet something I was astounded to discover for myself. As a redhead I find people are more willing to approach me, more willing to sit next to me on public transport, and more willing to beg for my money on the street. This is definitely a downside for me - I quite like keeping to myself, unless I induce the contact. However, there are definitely pros to being a redhead as well; people don’t feel like I’ll steal their boyfriend all the time by simply talking to them, people are more willing to listen to my stories with interest, and probably my favourite - more people respect my opinion. I’m considering writing a thesis on this in the future - such an interesting topic!

Having said all of this - I do miss being a blonde, and will probably decide to go back to at least a lighter shade of copper if not eventually a full-blown blonde.

 - Boys, boys, boys - As with most years, I’ve had my share of crazy situations and heartbreak. I ended a long-term relationship this year on mutually good terms, which was a huge sign of growing up for me - I’ve never been great with ex’s, and to stay friends with someone who has meant so much to me was a wonderful step forward. I fell into a strange sort of open relationship with J, although it was never meant to be one. It actually never occurred to me that it even was a relationship until after, when I was moping about having lost a fantastic lover, and a friend pointed out that if I was sleeping with a friend for 6 months and we were spending so much time together outside the bedroom as well, then it wasn’t really just a friend with benefits anymore. Sometimes I miss the most obvious things.

 Months after J I had finally gotten to a point where I was very happy being by myself - I had thrown myself into the gym, was advancing at work and getting through my uni work - then D entered the picture. When I say entered, I use the term loosely - swept in and made me head over heels is much closer to the truth. I met D on a night out for drinks with a mutual friend and he made me break all of my rules without even asking. He stayed the first night I met him, and I can honestly say I’ve never connected with someone so fast in my life. Alas, it had an end date, and he is going back to the UK in a week’s time, which has meant a summer romance that was short-lived and something I will never regret. In 11 months I’ll see him on the other side of the world, and we’ll probably be totally different people.

 - The decision to move to London - To be fair, this was quite inevitable. Most of dad’s family (bar himself, his sister and mum) are still living in the UK, and my trip back in February felt more like going home than how I felt landing back in Melbourne after 3 weeks away. To me, everything made more sense there. I felt a complete comfort that I didn’t even realise I was missing, and an odd sense of security even when out by myself late at night. 

As I’m already a British citizen, moving over there is so ridiculously simple I’m surprised it took me this long to take the leap. Working out uni took a couple of hours, but after figuring out the entry requirements I realised I’ll actually knock a year off my course overall, and I’ll have the opportunity to do my Masters before I do my PhD, all of which can be paid for through a government loan system and various grants I can apply for. 

So that’s pretty much it! A crazy, hectic year that’s allowed me to grow so much as a person and has opened my mind to so many new possibilities I cannot wait to explore.

I have to say, I would love to see a picture of you as a blonde! The maintenance is so much easier than being a redhead (I have newfound appreciation for you keeping your hair copper for so long).

Also, perhaps we should email these novels in the future? these_words_will_fade@live.com

My life right now.

(Source: chanelbagsandcigarettedrags)

Fred (Mr.) Rogers (via dailystendhalnitesaudade)

Always Fall For Cities, Never For Boys.

So I met a boy from London

And promptly fell in love

He smiled and took my breath away

And swept away my heart

 

He made suave conversation

And made me break my rules

For a night of honest passion

That’s made me such a fool

 

For the truth is there’s another

But I heard about her later

And it turns out that my lover

Is really quite the player

 

And he bagged a friend for cheating

But he’s really not much better

Because he’s naked in my bed

And he’s chosen to be here

 

And he says they’ll be together

As she’s flying here to see him

But he’s full of bad excuses

And he’s enjoying being us

 

But ‘us’ is such a finite

And he flies out in a fortnight

I won’t see him for a year

And they’ll probably get together

 

Which will make it slightly awkward

When I’m crashing on his couch

While I find a place to live

In good old London town

 

And if things had turned out different

Then we could’ve been forever

But as it happened; they didn’t

So I’ll lose another lover

 

For you would’ve been so lovely

And we could’ve been so happy

Were it not as it had happened

As it happened, it was wrong.

Hey Tumblr!

Sorry I’ve been ignoring you, I’ve been busy planning my move to London in 12 months :)

Cannot. Stop. Watching.

Advice for life.

(Source: thatleftunsaid)

Anthony Bourdain (via emotional-algebra)

Oh, hey new hair!